September 25, 2013

No Perfect Man

I feel like I need a template for my first paragraph, repasted with every new post, apologizing for my absence and promising to never do it again. While I know I can't make that promise, I always do have so many thoughts and things I want to say but the day is too short and entire months get away from me. I did hear about a "31 Days" challenge to blog about the same topic every day for the month of October. I have every intention of participating, covering the topic of balance.

Of course, I didn't just come back to post that and be on my merry way. I have something on my mind, and it seemed like something worth sharing so, fresh from my overactive mind, here goes.

There is no such thing as a perfect man.

There, I said it.

There's no such thing as a perfect woman either, but that's not the point I am trying to make. I've had a mostly good but mildly rough summer with my own relationship, stemming from a huge miscommunication leading into a rather unpleasant but necessary discussion. We are good now, mending at the expected pace, but it definitely planted a seed of uncertainty in my head that is hard to shake. My biggest issue is trusting my own reading and instincts of the situation without be "that girl" who overanalyzes and perseverates.

I've thought about small flaws that irk me or inaction that frustrates me. There is a constant grumpy old troll sitting in the back of my mind, reminding me of these insecurities and forcing me to revisit - over and over again - debates that I've already been over. And for a while, I thought I was alone. Everyone else seemed so happy and sure in their paths and their decisions.

One of my very best friends got engaged a couple weeks ago. It really is the sweetest love story of souls coming together and living for the glory of God. Their engagement was so happy and lovely, and we've been giddy about it around the apartment every since.

I'm completely thrilled for her, but it of course drug back up my uncertainties and discontentedness. I was certain that she'd found "the one" and was jealous of her surety.

Over the last few days though, I've come to realize no relationship is perfect. She has complaints about her fiancé and I have complains about my boyfriend. My sister has concerns about her relationship, and another friend is recovering from a heartbreak. Still another is in the beginning throes of a relationship and even through the excitement there are areas that are left wanting.

It's a realization I've always known, but what hit me most was this. There are no perfect men... Except one. The One who made us. The Son who saved the world. There will be no man who can live up to the Man. Ultimately, relationships, in spite of the pitfalls and missing pieces, are the closest we can get to God, because a solid relationship is the union of the halves of God - the two pieces created in His image.

What's important is forgiving and fighting for the relationships because even with the burdens and trials of working together, giving up is far worse. We can't expect the fairytale man or perfect hero because there is not such thing. But that doesn't mean that another person cannot be the perfect complement that you need in order to be your best self. Most important is the expression gratitude for the partner God has placed in your life, regardless of flaws, because they are a child of God, made in his image, with a purpose far greater than your single solitary relationship can imagine.