May 26, 2011

We all falter... When will we learn to reach out for each other?

I seem to have a trend of using lyrics as titles. It seems absurdly corny, but music lyrics get to you for a reason. They ring true. They wake something up inside of you.

It has been one of those days that I have had many little epiphanies, but now that I am here to write them down, grasping onto those thoughts seems as easy as catching a cloud. All I can think about is how much I love my dog. That sounds silly but he's laying in my floor, curled up on the only section of carpet that isn't covered in the multitude of boxes I brought home from school. Nigel can't talk, but you can tell he is a thinker. And that if he was a person, he would be the sweetest person in the world. Someone who never ever complained, but loved with his whole heart. I just want to go curl up beside him and hug him for hours and hours. I hope he knows how much we love him.

One of my random thoughts today: God made nature in order to spur our imaginations. I was sitting on the porch swing and looking at a bird swooping and looking at the trees. We have mimiced birds and learned to fly. We mimiced fish and built submarines. We have learned structural techniques from the anatomy of plants. What's next? It just goes to show, God is intentional.

Obviously, that applies to more than imagination. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember to just let go. Jerimiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." I tend to get worried and tense. I just have to remember to just let God take over. He has a plan for me - but I am still struggling with what.

I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I don't really have an idea of where I want to go. I know that I aspire to be a good person, to make a difference, but I don't know how. I know that God has a plan, he has "placed a dream on my heart" in the words of Hannah's graduation speaker. But that doesn't mean it will happen without my action. I cannot simply sit back and wait for my life to pan out. I have a dream planted inside of me, I just have to find it. I have to figure out what direction I am supposed to be heading. It's scary. I am confused. I truly have no idea where I am going. And I want to find it - to be happy and fulfilled.

My first year of college has come to a close. Life is moving so fast.

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