March 30, 2010

Fly

Oh how the month has flown. And after break and excepting Jackson's week here, it has not been the best month of my life. There is so much running around my mind and I want to slow down but at the same time I so badly want to speed up. Goodness I'm confused.

I feel ridiculously out of place here. I can hardly relate to anyone, my friends are wonderful but we don't have a ton in common. I miss Jackson when I'm not with him. No one feels the same way I do about education and knowledge and the pursuit of all there is to learn. I can't relate to partying. I feel like I've lost so many friends. I want my book to turn out perfectly but I'm running out of time. I am scared about next year and how I'm going to pay for it. I'm nervous to move but I know it's right for the family.

I want to cry. I want to curl up and just release. I hate feeling cooped up and chased all at the same time. Why can't I fix everything?

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